Death of a hoarder

After reading this...(Caution, reading the following news article may cause you to throw up a bit in your mouth) I've decided to throw away everything in my house except for my bed and the kitchen table.

Coroner confirms human remains are of missing woman By Kristy Jourdan

LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL


The Clark County coroner's office has identified the human remains found Wednesday at the home of a missing woman as Billie Jean James.

James, 67, had been missing since April 22.

A compulsive hoarder, James was discovered under a pile of clutter in her own home by her husband, Bill James.




I have a few follow up questions for the reporter.

Why did the coroner identify the "remains" as opposed to the husband?

How could he not notice the smell of his decomposing wife in his own house?

Will they be having a garage sale?

A day in the life of...

Miss Sophie!

To give you a better idea of what her day is truly like, we'll be experiencing it through HER EYES!

Ok, I'm awake... I'm awake already! Where is that milk lady?

Ahh, salvation. So close, yet so far.

There she is! Could you help me out with that thing?

Ahhh, yes. That's what I was talking about.

Wait, where'd she go? Do I feel a draft in here?

What's with the face? I don't smell anything.

She's gone again! Oh milk lady, where are you?

Oh yes, could you hurry it up? I feel a slight chill.

Ok, hold the phone. Does this outfit make my thighs look chunky.

Weeeeee! Swinging up.

Bom, bom bom.

Oh I love this thing. Time for my exercise.

Bouncy, bounce, bounce. This is exhausting!

Ahhhhh, I can't keep my eyes open.

zzzzzzzzzzzzz


Woa, what is that?

Oh, milk lady. Enough of those faces. I'm hungry!

Oh yeah. That hits the spot.

They keep trying to get me to roll over, but don't seem to realize I like it on my tummy.

And Repeat!

Parting Woes

This has been bothering me lately.

No, not my face.

This.

My horrible center part.

(Actual picture I took just now with my phone while sitting in my office “working”)

No matter how hard I try I can’t make it go away.

Even Sophia gives me a look. (Since her hair is way better and all)

I wish I could rock it like SJP, but I’m more a fan of what Blake Lively has going on.

However, when I attempt that, I usually get this big clump-like comb-over that looks like I belong in Southern Utah.

Aside from this…

Any suggestions?

PS. I threw in that last picture since I'm so attractive in it and all.

Saturday is a special day...

This weekend My honey was able to check off 3 things on his "Honey do" list and I appropriately was able to supervise all the hard work.

Starting with my new china hutch.

I've wanted one for a while now and off and on go on craigslist to see what I can find. I went on the other day and found the cutest white hutch for $50, but the guy never called me back and I'm definitely the type of person to not wait for anyone. So I moved on to the next one.

I found this one for $20.

Kind of ghetto, but for $20 my honey said he could fix it up.

I was slightly apprehensive, but I figured we weren't out too much money if it looked dumb when he finished.

I forgot to take pictures while he was fixing it up, but he had to sand it and stain it and replace the missing glass pane on the left side.

Here's a dark picture (taken with my phone because my camera is out of batteries) of the final result.

Looks good huh?

I'm now convinced that I can take junk furnishings and refurbish them and make lots and lots of money reselling everything.

And by me, I mean my honey can refurbish and I can be his business manager.

Next check on the list was replacing my cracked windshield. Remember how it cracked a few weeks ago when I went through my week from Hades?

Sorry no picture for you, but every time I get in my car I start singing, "I can see clearly now the crack is gone..."

And the third check on the list was fixing the radiator on his truck. He's mostly done with that, so I'll consider it checked even though technically the truck doesn't work any better now than it did before.

The fact that he spent 4 hours working on it counts for something I guess.

He's not the only one who worked hard on Saturday.

I was able to shampoo my carpet without actually using any shampoo. So technically it was a nice rinse, but it had almost the same effect.

AND... Back to school haircuts!

(Sorry, my phone takes dark pictures)

I trimmed up Sophie's buzz cut since she's an adorable baldy. And kind of looks like the exorsist.

And AJ got a nice cut. I figured I'd cut it a week before school starts just in case I did a horrible job I could give it a little time to grow.

Did you have a productive weekend?

Nauvoo or bust!

Off we go to Nauvoo, IL. We only had a couple of days so we had to make the most of our time.


This guy's ready!

AJ's quite obviously thrilled for another long car ride.

Wait a sec... what's that I see?

I love to see the...

Nauvoo is definitely a place for brothers...


more brothers...

old stuff...

A quick trip to Carthage...


More old stuff...


The pageant...

And we're done!

That pretty much wraps up our 2 exhausting days there.

On the road again...

Then we tackled the zoo

Once Eliza joined us in MN, we decided to do what sane people would never do:

Take 4 million children to the zoo.

Luckily we were able to document the joyous day by having the kids climb on every statue that says "Do not climb"

And despite seeing the giraffes

The seals

And trying to lock the kids in their own cage,

Most fun was had by all at the butterfly exhibit when this little guy decided to let us pass him around so all could hold him.

Oh, and when I looked at our brochure to see the name of our new friend. I wasn't surprised to find that our little guy is called a "Common Mormon"

Go figure.

Sophia loved her first trip to the zoo.

She slept through the whole thing.

Kind of like what Eliza wished she could've done.

Sorry Eliza, I'd need a bigger baby Bjorn.