This is my version of what went down

I had so much fun with this last year, I thought I'd give you all the pleasure again.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a moose.

The stockings were hung on the wall with great care,

In hopes that presents soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.

Mama in her kerchief and Pa in his hat.

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

(He's going to kill me for that one!)

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But lots of snow and 3 tiny reindeer.

(They were actually much larger in real life)

More rapid than eagles his courses they came.

And he whispered and hollered and called them by name.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head and was turning around.

I saw some weird pirate dude and he came with a bound.

He had a round face

and a little round belly

that shook when he laughed

Like a bowl full of pomegranate jelly.

I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

I never knew I didn't know

Warning: Pretty lame post coming up. I think the fetus is sucking all the creative juices from my brain so I'll probably have some dumb posts for at least the next 6 months.

I just discovered something.

Pardon me since I'm sure the rest of you already knew this wonderful random tidbit of information.

I just found out that the place you take your clothes to wash them if you don't happen to have your own washer and dryer is called a laundromat.

I've always called it a "laundry-mat"

It's actually a laund-RO-mat.

I'll be darn.

It's kind of like a grocery store, but I always say groshery store.

Ain't that some'in?

Whatcha doin?

My sisters are off here.

My parents are here.

My honey is probably here.

And I'm stuck here.

And I've got nothing interesting to say about it.

Food Cravings part 2 of 967

I couldn't get these out of my head so I had them for both lunch and dinner yesterday.






Pickles, wrapped in ham and cream cheese.







Heaven on Earth.

These are absolutely on the menu for Thanksgiving.

May you all have a Turkey Day as pickle-filled as mine!

A letter

Dear middle aged man driving a white '97 Ford Taurus,

I understand that you feel that Debbie (ahem, Deborah) Gibson was is one of the best musical artists of all time.

I understand the need to live in the memories.

I also understand that there may be a whole group of people who feel the same way as you...

However,

Rolling down your windows and blasting "Electric Youth" while driving down Sahara is not the best way to find those people.

Try facebook.

Sincerely,
Girl in the red car who rolled up her windows and threw up a little in her mouth.

Food Cravings part 1 of 967

Mostly I’ve been craving not healthy food.

I usually crave not healthy food – so I try not to accredit these cravings to the pregnancy.

Except for the other night when I made my honey go look for chicken wings at 11:00 at night. Needless to say, he wasn’t very successful. I totally can’t believe he even went. I wouldn’t have! Good thing he’s not the one with cravings.

And then there was yesterday.

Yesterday I was craving hot chocolate from 7-11.

I was thinking about going across the street to satisfy my craving and how I was going to put some nice steamed milk and mini marshmallows in my cocoa. This stuff is way better than Starbucks (Cuz I happened to try them both on the same day once).

Then I thought about the donuts. Hmmm, I think I’ll grab one of those too.

I love me some deep fried bread.

Which made me want a scone really bad. (Tempted to drive to Orem to the closest Sconecutter, but I didn’t think I could make it there and back in my lunch hour)

A nice deep fried scone with butter and honey.

My mouth was watering as I thought of that crispy doughy creation and my mind wandered to other crispy, doughy creations.

Hot dog on a Stick.

No… not a corn dog.

It had to be a hot dog on a stick. From the nice girls that wear big colorful hats and pound lemons to a crisp.

Those dogs are the best because they’re freshly dipped in the cornmeal and fried for a good 2 minutes.

They sell cheese on a sick too.

Hmmm. CHEESE!

I had to have one. Seriously, this was a matter of life or death.

Cheese on a stick was my lifeline.

I looked up the closest Hot Dog on a Stick location to my work.

Just doing that made me even more obsessed.

I could already taste the deep fried corn meal and melted cheese.

I was like James hunting Bella. My mouth was watering and I was a girl on a mission.

I snatched my purse and drove the 3.81 miles to the closest location.

Ugh, I hate malls. I hate mall food courts. I hate not knowing where to park that will be closest to the food court.

FOCUS! CHEESE ON A STICK.

Ok, I had my head back and I was heading in. As I reached the mall doors I made a little whimpering sound. (I’m totally not making this up people) like a puppy who just couldn’t get to the bowl of food. I was so close I could almost taste it!

I rushed in and headed in the direction of the food court. Dang, I didn’t pick the closest parking.

I can see it. I can smell it…A variety of foods from various countries, cultures and waist lines.

Wait a second.

Did I miss it?

I slowly did a second and third spin around the food court searching for my beloved stick girls.

This isn’t funny.

Come out come out wherever you are…

It’s not here!

There was one booth under construction.

Could that be where… I didn’t even want to think it.

I saw a funnel cake place and was reminded of my deep fried dough craving 15 minutes prior.

Only I didn’t want funnel cake or deep fried dough anymore.

I wanted fried cheese on a stick.

I almost broke down right there in the middle of the food court.
This couldn’t be happening. I NEEDED some fried cheese.

I desperately thought that possibly there could be a second food court and I set off to find it.

I shot daggers as the lady at the hair straightening kiosk asked me if I ever straightened my hair.

NO! (Duh, my hair is naturally gorgeous, why would I ruin a good thing)

Keep walking, keep walking, keep walking. It has to be here somewhere.

I saw another entryway to the mall and thought maybe they had a booth there. Like how sometimes you see Auntie Anne’s pretzels.

And there it was.

My salvation.

I wanted to cry. Instead I sighed loudly as I slowed my steps and approached the colored hat girls.

And studied the menu.

What are you doing? You want cheese! Remember!

The menu is really hard, you see. They have hot dogs. And Cheese.

Cheese. Cheese. Cheese you idiot, why are you stalling????

Should I get one of each?

No, you don’t want a hot dog. You want Cheese!

“I’ll have a cheese on a stick.”

“American or Pepper Jack?”

“American”

“Ok, that’ll be 2 minutes”

Should I have gotten pepper jack? Or one of each?

The next 2 minutes were agony as I waited for my cheese to cook to perfection.

Then she gave it to me and I took that first delicious bite.

Oh, that’s hot. HOT HOT HOT. Ooooo oooo

I tried to blow through my teeth and not burn the roof of my mouth.

Oh, yeah, that hits the spot. This stuff is GOOOOOOOOD.

Then I got to the middle of the stick.

Suddenly the cheese wasn’t hot anymore.

In fact, it wasn’t even melted.

Gross! This isn’t what I wanted.

I reluctantly finished it, I had to eat it all, there was no way I was going to leave the mall not having had my fill. But I was seriously disappointed that the cheese hadn’t melted all the way through.

What a let down.

I left the mall dejected and depressed.

I really just wanted some hot chocolate.

My tummy hurts

It's either the bean burrito I had for dinner.

*Not my burrito.






Or the fetus that's taken up residence in my uterus.





Maybe a combination of both?

It's that time of year...

My honey and I went up to the mountains this past weekend to get away from the city and enjoy some fresh air and fall weather.


And of course I decided it would be a good time to take our Christmas Card picture. (around this time I start wishing we had a nicer camera, or the money to pay a professional... or even just someone to take them for us rather than setting the timer and running)



I look so good, I just can't decide!

We have the...

"Too dark, but at least we're both smiling."

"Awkward, 'honey doesn't know what to do with his hands"

"Not as dark, but we look like giants?"

"Camera at arms length"

"Didn't outrun the timer."

Or we could always go for an individual shot of each...

"Do I look like a J Crew model yet?"

"Does this make me look wistful?"


Decisions, decisions...

Movie review.

This is the worst movie ever!





Seriously, DO NOT go see it.


(They don't give you the money back, I asked)





The worst.

Horriblest.

Badest.



Awful.

(I ran out of adjectives)

Movie Ever!

Take me out to the ball game

I'm slightly ashamed to admit that last night's game was the first one I've watched of this world series.
It's been a long time since I've watched baseball on TV and I noticed something I don't think I've ever noticed before.

Baseball players spit.

A LOT!

They don't even use their lips.

At any second random stuff just comes flying out of their mouth.

It's usually just a little bit at a time.
(Wouldn't it be better to just build it all up and hock a big loogey?)

Some of them can successfully spit in two different directions at the same time.

Seriously, these guys have talent.

So I tried to do it without moving my lips.

I drooled.

There go my dreams of become a professional baseball player.

I don't get it

Could someone help me understand this?





I really don't get it when people put this on their car.





Seriously! I see these all the time!

The car is in memory of the person????

Wouldn't a park bench or a hospital wing be more appropriate?

Couldn't you plant a tree or run a marathon in that person's name?

My first thought when I see one of these is that they obviously bought the car with the life insurance, felt guilty, and decided to dedicate the car to that person.

Why else would a car represent a person?

I think more appropriate would be "In memory of the awesome car I test drove and bought this instead"

Could someone help me understand?

I just don't get it.

i'm lovin' it

I'm going to win.

I was driving home from work yesterday and I passed the yellow arches with a big sign.

My entire drive home was spent daydreaming how I would spend the money.



For sure pay off all debt.



Buy a truck.



Maybe an SUV for me.



Perhaps an investment home...



Of course I would save most of it.



Would I need to give some to my family??? (That's ok, I'll still have plenty)



I'm pretty sure I'm going to win!



Guess where I went for dinner?



Only 100 more game pieces and I'm sure to win.



Seriously, my day dream was so real, it would be insane if I didn't win.



Impossible really.



At least I'll be able to get a gym membership with my winnings.

Dam Trek

I've been hearing a lot lately about people who go on these movie treks to visit the setting where their favorite movie takes place.

Some go to exotic, far-away locations just to experience the same sights and sounds of their favorite characters.

I've heard of people going to Forks and entering the "Twilight Zone"

Taking pictures by the high school, or local diner.

It makes you feel like you've made some kind of physical connection the emotional experience.

I convinced my honey that we should do one of these "treks".

But where?

It had to be a movie we're both fond of.

Pride and Prejudice?

The Italian Job?

Madagascar?

Although any of those choices would lead us to exotic locations with beautiful landscapes and unforgettable experiences, that's slightly out of our budget right now.

And by slightly, I mean, never gonna happen, no way, not in my lifetime.

We had to pick something a little more reasonable.

So for last week's FHE activity we went on our Trek.

Inspired by this:

We got in our car and drove the 15 miles to one of the greatest feats of engineering man has known.

Rather than marvel at the ingenuity of President Hoover and his design of the largest dam in the United States, we instead were in awe of the place where the Decepticon's leader, Megatron, along with a giant cube of enormous power hid for centuries.

We amazed at how quickly the humans were able to rebuild the power lines and parts of the dam that were damaged shortly after the cube was removed from hiding.

We stood in the exact place where Sam demanded that he be taken to his beloved Bumblebee.

And then, as we were getting ready to leave. My honey spotted a small, but definitely authentic, pair of reading glasses. That's right! THE reading glasses also worn by Great Grandpa Widwicky. The very glasses that had a map engraved of the exact location of the cube.

It brought tears to my eyes. Someone had accidentally ran them over and it was missing a lens, but I do not doubt that they were the real thing.

We thought about taking them with us, but decided they would best be left for the next person who went on the Dam Trek.

After all, there may be someone else with the dream of walking where Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox once stepped.

I know I always did.

So where are you dying to go?