2008 Year in Review

**I'm plugging into my "Bridget Jones-Esq" personality so the following must be read with a British accent and while consuming tea and crumpets.

No really, go get some tea, I'll wait.




Ready?




("ahem" - I always have to clear my throat before attempting an accent)

Pounds lost: minus 78.5 (uh, kidding...ha, kind of...awkward silence)

Houses purchased: 1

Plane trips: 13 (unfortunately only 2 were on holiday)

Juries served on: 0, despite the 3 days of jury selection

Nights stranded in Arizona due to unusual snow fall in Vegas: 1

Nephews birthed: 1

Blog posts:59 - not bad for a blog newbie

People who regularly read my bog and comment: 1 (thank you sister!)

Lesbian kisses: 0 - did you actually think there would be a number there? Geesh!
(You actually have to have seen Bridget Jones to get that one - so that's just you Ash!)

Movies watched: 154 - that's just an estimate of course, but it's probably pretty close.

Paint-by-numbers projects started and then quickly abandonded due to lack of any artistic talent: 1

Times I hit my own garage while trying to park my car: 3 - but only once did it cause major damage.

Boyfriends married: 1

And to end in the words of good old Bridget

"I found my happy ending at last. I truly believe in happiness ... even when you’re 33 and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls."

Goals for 2009

Get released from calling
Meet Obama
Visit a foreign land
Limit diet coke consumption to one per day

Wish me luck!

A case of mistaken nationality

So...
(I always like to begin a paragraph as if we were already in the middle of a conversation)

as we were leaving the temple early Saturday morning, the gentleman at the welcome desk looked at my honey and said "Aloha, Mele Kalikimaka"



Apparently he looks more Hawaiian than Latin.

What do you think?

On the flip side, I look mostly albino so I guess I'll just say
Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!
(That's "Merry Christmas" in Eskimo. )
No really... I looked it up!


PS. I'm in no way insinuating that all Eskimo's are albinos - just some of them.


Just kidding, I love Eskimos, here are my top 10 favorite Eskimo Proverbs.


1. Don't let the windows of your home be so small that the light of the sun cannot enter your rooms.
2. Even the strongest eagle cannot soar higher than the stars.
3. You never really know your friends from your enemies until the ice breaks.
4. He that boasts of his own knowledge proclaims his ignorance.
5. If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance.
6. Unless you're the lead sled dog, the view is pretty much the same.
7. Love comes after marriage.
8. May you have kindness in your heart, a plump woman in your furs, and seal meat in you larder.
9. May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart.
10. May your charity increase as much as your wealth.

(on a personal note, my favorites are 5, 6, &8)



PPS. Tomorrow I may go back to talking about the continential US, but for now...
Mele Kalikimaka and Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!

On the 1st day of Christmas...

my true love gave to me...

I tried to get a picture of this, but it was really hard. We went to the grocery store to get some (shocking I know) food and as we were leaving we were approached by someone who appeared to be homeless asking for money. Neither of us had any cash, and let's be honest, I probably wouldn't have given any anyway - I just don't trust that they won't use the money for alcohol or something.

So we got in the car and were ready to pull away and we saw the man who had asked us for money and another man sitting on some steps on the sidewalk. We looked at them and they looked at us and it was one of those awkward pauses. You know, like when a car salesman asks you if he can help and you don't immediately say no so then you're stuck with the guy. Well it was one of those moments. They knew we saw them and we waited too long to not help them in some way.

So my honey quickly put the car in park, got out, and asked either man if they were hungry. One jumped up and immediately asked for a beer. When he told the man that he wouldn't buy him a beer, but he could buy him some food if he was hungry, he got this annoyed, pouty look and sat back down on the steps to sulk. The other gentleman stood up and said that he'd take a burrito so my honey walked with him into the taco shop and bought him a burrito. I tried to capture this on film but I didn't want either to know I was taking a picture so the result isn't very clear.

(I apologize for the somewhat distracting wiper blade taking up half the picture)

So what did my true love give to me?

Charity, kindness, selflessness, love

The true meaning of Christmas.

On the 2nd day of Christmas...

my true love gave to me...

A trip to a Mexican grocery store, which included....

A surpise visit to a decked out shrine.

Little did we know it was the Virgen of Guadalupe day. If I had know I could've brought my candle. (When in Rome...)

My sister Cathy was with me to record such an eventful trip to the grocery store.

(I won't tell you about the rancid smells near the meat department. I'm pretty sure they butcher the animals right there on site and we were smelling the result of months of not cleaning those hard to reach cracks in the countertops and corners. Cathy had to walk away and I unsuccessfully tried to discretely plug my nose while not offending anyone.)

Sorry, I guess I ended up telling you after all.

Feliz Navidad!

On the 3rd day of Christmas...

my true love gave to me...

MORE SNOW

Only this time he started the snowfall too early and forgot that I would be in Phoenix at the time trying to catch a flight home.

No such luck and I was stuck there one more night until they reopened the airport.

But the good news is I came home to this.

On the 4th day of Christmas...

my true love gave to me...

Yummy pupusas that he made himself.

Yes that is smoke you see in the pan... Cooking everything on full heat is what my honey does best. Despite having the vent on full blast and all the doors to the house open, we still managed to fill the entire house with smoke. Maybe that is the best part of pupusas - being able to enjoy their smell for days after.

I love that you can totally see some creepy lady on the TV over his shoulder.

The final results. Delicious!

On the 5th day of Christmas....

my true love gave to me...

Date night to see

It was my honey's first time and my second. I'd forgotten (no pun intended) some of the songs so it was good to hear them again.

You can't really see the stage, but we're more important anyway.
You also can't tell that we'd both gone to the dentist earlier in the day and although my novicane had worn off at this time, my honey was still a little numb.

Probably the best way to experience a little Michael McLean

The choir was amazing.
(I had to give a little shout out to my friends who were in it!)

On the 6th day of Christmas....

my true love gave to me...

(See the white stuff on Frosty's mittens!)

SNOW!!!!

That's right, it snowed in Las Vegas and it was great! Freezing, but great!






I bet you didn't know that my honey could do that, but he did. He even made it disappear so we didn't have to shovel any sidewalks or drive on slick roads.


Isn't he the best?

On the 7th day of Christmas...

my true love gave to me...

A yummy salad for me to eat at work. You can tell he made it for me because he spent so much time cutting the carrots. Now that's L O V E!

I'm actually eating this as I'm typing right now and I almost forgot to capture the goodness so that's why it's almost gone.

The only problem is... the salad smells like FOOT!
I mean like some nasty, didn't wear socks in plastic closed toe shoes STINKY FOOT! It doesn't taste like foot, just smells like it. I have no clue why. The dressing is a nice vinaigrette and it hasn't gone bad, it tastes good. The salad hasn't gone bad, but OOOOOWEEEEE, that is some nasty smell.

I have to grab a forkful and then move the bowl away so I won't smell it. Seriously, smell it. Take a whiff of your computer screen. I'm sure it's potent enough to stay on the screen.

Is it wrong of me to eat something that tastes fine, but smells so horrible.

Don't judge me!

Hmmm, is this the container I keep dirty socks in?

On the 8th day of Christmas...

my true love gave to me...

A precious poinsettia plant for the top of the stairs.

I usually keep a (I hate to say it) fake flower arrangement here.

I promised myself as a naive college student that I would never have fake flowers in my house and I would always have fresh flower arrangements. I think I promised myself that one day while watching Martha. I swore to myself that I would rather have no flowers than have plastic ones.

Those hopes and dreams were dashed when reality hit and I needed something on the top of this table.

Now my honey is keeping me honest by getting me a REAL poinsettia plant. Technically not flowers, but close enough.

On the 9th day of Christmas...

my truelove gave to me...

Some stellar Christmas ornaments for my beautiful new tree. (Thank you black Friday sales!)


Not only did he pick out the star, but that dove and silver reindeer were the result of his quick trip to Target. The man surprises me. Those cheap ball ornaments are what I picked out and he goes for some fancy stuff.

On the 10th day of Christmas...

my true love gave to me....


A sparkling clean kitchen!

Ok, I know you're way jealous right now,

but technically my honey didn't clean this, I did...

However, I consider it a huge success that he hasn't messed it up yet.

Baby steps

On the 11th day of Christmas...

my true love gave to me...

7 loads of laundry...


Folded!




He even cleaned up his side of the bed!



Don't ask me how 2 people manage to build up 7 loads of laundry.

We haven't just returned from a trip

We didn't just go on a shopping spree at DI


No lice or bed bug investation here...

just lots of dirty clothes.

Do you think it has something to do with the fact that I haven't washed clothes in a couple of weeks?

Nah, I doubt it. Just some random freak accident.

On the 12th day of Christmas...

my true love gave to me.

Date night to see "ICE" at the Riviera. We had front row tickets which was amazing since they were free! Although it was really good, I don't think I would've ever paid $86 a ticket to see it. They had some cool tricks and the best part about sitting in the front row is that you get to see everyone's facial expressions and all the little details. The worst part about sitting in the front was the ice. It's pretty cold and we even got sprayed once.

This was the cool stilt skater who came out right at the begining of the show. We took this picture right before they announced that photo-taking was strickly prohibited. We're so rebelous!

And... my favorite part about this picture is...

The complete stranger who is trying to duck out of the shot! Little does she know, not only did we capture her in the picture, but I've now posted her on the internet!

I like to think I'm a stylista - I have a magic mirror that tells me it's true!

It's not uncommon here in Vegas to see some tourist, at least I assume they are a tourist, dressed up to the nines and I mean to the nines (and I don't even know what that means). It's usually a very pretty lady or maybe perhaps even a slightly less aesthetically pleasing lady who has over compensated by carrying a really expensive handbag/really good fake handbag and maybe some fur, fake of course since you would hate to have your look ruined by some animal-loving-flour-throwing-PETA activists.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, so picture a really dressed up lady. We're talking little black dress, 10 inch heels, Elizabeth Taylor's jewelery collection, professional hair and make-up, the works. Do you have her in your head? My mental image looks something like Angelina Jolie meets Audrey Hepburn (she has a killer long neck). So you have this way hot lady and then you have her date/lover/friend/boyfriend/husband. She is obviously the arm candy in the relationship because the male companion is wearing (never fail) a plaid shirt, or if she's lucky, a polo, some wrangler jeans or... dare I say...(gasp)...jean shorts! Perhaps some scruffy shoes and unkempt hair underneath a baseball cap advertising his favorite brand of beer.

What a classy couple.

I took the following picture when my honey took me to the movies last week. I wanted to show the wonderful view we had since we were the only ones in the theater. I had intended to blog about that.

Instead, as I look at this picture I'm reminded of those lovely "tourist" couples that I often see on the strip (and make fun of in my mind). I didn't have time to change after work so I went in what I had been wearing all day. Unfortunately I also didn't have time to dress my honey who finds it appropriate to wear grey socks with black tennis shoes (sorry Jen - avert your eyes). The worst part is, I didn't even realized how we looked until I looked at this picture a week later.

What has happened to me?

Is it karma for all those times I mocked the tourists?

Is it because we're lazy?

Is it because we're married and just don't care?

Have I been wrong all these years and those tourists really do have fashion sense?