It's begining to look a lot like Christmas

My talented friend Rychelle took our family Christmas card pictures this year.

Of course the pictures always look better when you have a good subject.

(Slobber face and all, she's just too adorable)

Yes that is a bird...on my tree... It actually works with the rest of the decorations. It just looks slightly awkward in this picture. Like maybe it just pooped on my shoulder or something.



There's something wrong with AJ's thumb. Seriously. It looks like this in every picture. I don't know what came over him. He never gives a "thumb's up" in any picture ever. Rychelle apparently unleashed the beast.


These pictures aren't copyrighted (yet). Feel free to use them in your own Christmas card if you want.

Have a wonderful holiday.

I think my ears are bleeding

One time in Cancun I was snorkeling and I saw a starfish at the bottom of the ocean. I decided to dive down and get it.



Then my head exploded.



Seriously, I'm not making this up.



It felt like my head exploded when it turns out I had popped my ear drum.



Yesterday my ears hurt a lot more.

They played "Oh Holy Night" sung by him on the radio.





Oh make it stop, make it stop!

Just say "NO" to Claiken!

Which classic Christmas song version gives you the heeby geebies?

Santa Baby

Santa came early to my house (shhhh, don't tell the elves) and brought me my new camera that I've been dying to have for months.

I even researched it and read hundreds of reviews. I NEVER do that! I'm the definition of a compulsive shopper.

One time in college when I got my first D ever on a test I went out and spent $100 on a pair of boots that I only wore once because they weren't comfortable at all.

It wasn't like that this time! My camera was well thought out and planned.

I didn't even tear open the package. I opened it reverently and slapped away my honey's hand when he tried to touch it.

Then I immediately took 114 pictures of Sophia.

Who wouldn't?

How else could I have captured that drool perfectly?

And her new favorite snack: Daddy's nose.

She's going in for the kill.

Yummy!

Prepare yourselves for way too many photo posts coming up!

My Sasquatch

I had to drive Big Foot to work today.

I don't call him Big Foot because he's as big as an ocean liner.

Or because he sounds like the Harleys at a Hell's Angel's rally.

Or because I can't see any lines on the road closer than 5 feet.

Nope, that's not why he's Big Foot.

I call him Big Foot because the gas fumes coming off him are leaving a carbon footprint bigger than Canada.

And the Sasquatch roams freely in Canada.

My honey has had car trouble and seeing as how Big Foot guzzles 2 gallons of gas just by turning him on, and my commute isn't nearly as long as my honeys, I got the Sasquatch today.





The trick to driving him is to pretend that loud noise isn't coming from you. Or even better, that you can't even hear any loud noise. Like it's perfectly normal to sound like a freight train when you step on the gas.

Also, when he stalls (which he inevitably does since he was created before my parents even had drivers licenses), act like you meant to do that. Don't freak out. Big Foot can tell when you start freaking out and he'll cough and sputter just for kicks.

And if you're brave enough to attempt the freeway, DON'T PUSH HIM. He'll eventually make it up to cruising speed after about 4 miles. His loud noise was designed to drown out the honks from other drivers.

Sounds awesome huh? I'll sell him to the best offer.

We can start the bidding at $5.

Milestone

Finally enough hair to look disheveled in the morning.



Momma's so proud!

Welcome to the world Coral!

My amazing, beautiful sister Eliza has turned this


Into this

Coral Rose born October 25th at 8:00ish am

And just because every girl deserves a tiara after giving birth...

(Yes, she wore this while walking around the halls of the hospital. Yes, all the nurses were jealous!)

Congratulations Sis!

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Ok, so I'm not sure what would go through your head if lightning were to strike your house, but here's what went through mine.

Loud POP and flash of light.

Gee, that seemed close. I wonder if lightning got a tree outside or something.

1 min later.

I smell smoke, I'm going to go check outside to see if anything is burning.

30 seconds later, my MIL shouts that there is smoke coming from a closet.

Never fear Captain Sara, the brave is here.

I told everyone to stand back and not to open the closet door (I watch way too many movies to not know that you're supposed to leave the door shut)

Hmmm, fire extinguisher, fire extinguisher... Not sure we own one of those...

Oh goody, a bucket. Surely I'll be able to save us by filling this bucket with water.

Man, this is taking forever... bucket is half full, most likely I'll be able to extinguish a large fire with half a bucket.

I ran to the closet door and opened (because I'm Captain Sara. The ONLY one allowed to open the door)

Smoke

Just Smoke

Lots of smoke

What am I supposed to do with my water now?

Ok, call 911

Phone's not working

Call 911 again from same phone thinking that maybe miraculously it will begin working.

Still not working

Call from Cell phone

Talk so fast the emergency operator made me stop and repeat much slower.

Get everyone out of the house.

It's raining.

Ok, so I put my MIL, AJ and Sophia in my car and drove out of the garage and left them parked in the lot.

Then I proceed to stand in the rain, staring at my house, willing the fire department to hurry up already.

I call my honey. I was slightly hysterical and I think that maybe that helped him understand that this was NOT A DRILL!

I call Eliza.

Cathy. (working, didn't answer)

My dad.

My boss. (Um, yeah, I won't be in tomorrow because my house is currently on fire!)

My next thought is possibly the most profound and important of the evening.

I have to blog about this!

So out pops my camera phone (which gets very wet and stops working at one point during the evening)

Here is the smoke coming out of the attic vent before the fire department got there.


The first fireman to enter the house with his oxygen pack and everything. (Totally like the movies)



The firemen manning the hose.

Then because it was dark by the time it was all over, I had to go back in the daylight to really assess the damage.

Here's the part that got burnt the most.

This is the wall between a bathroom and the hall closet. The fire started here which is why I didn't see fire when I opened the closet door because the fire was still in the wall.

Ironically, I was filling my bucket with water just 1 foot from where the fire was burning.

Here's the view of that whole wall.

Here's the contents of my hall closet all burnt up and thrown all over my floor.

(way rude, the least they could've done is pick up after themselves...)

They also ripped large chunks out of the ceiling for good measure.

At least good times were had by all.

I'm now living in a hotel

(My life is a lot like Monopoly - $1 to whoever knows what movie that is from)

I plan on living in a hotel until my house is livable again.

Roughly 2-3 months.

All I want for Christmas is my house back.

And maybe a pony.

It's Electric!

So lightning struck.





My house, I mean.





I'm 99% sure that it was a sign, I'm just not sure what for. Maybe I need to cut back on diet coke. Or Halloween candy.





Are there people that interpret signs? Like someone who interprets dreams? Could I get a sign interpretation here please? Anyone?



I don't have the time or energy to tell you all about what happened.

I'll just leave you with this.

Firemen are cute, mostly because they save your life and wear cool suits.





That's all the details you get for now. Pictures and really long exhausting post to come.





You'll have to make do with seeing me(and my burnt house), on the news.

Let's get political.

In case you’re living under a rock and haven’t heard:

Elections are coming up.

If you live in Nevada or anywhere even close you will have no doubt heard about these two.

Harry Reid

Sharron Angle

Candidates for Senate

Each of them, according to the other, is the worst thing this country has created since country music.

Sharron Angle has taught me that Harry Reid is an immigrant loving fool who wants to give Viagra to Child molesters and sexual offenders and will raise my taxes and take away my social security benefits.

Harry Reid has taught me that Sharron Angle is a hypocrite who wants to do away with government programs and let Americans fend for themselves, doesn’t want healthcare to cover any health problems, and doesn’t want Nevadans to have jobs.

Hmmmm…. Who to choose when you have such ideal options????

Neither one gives me anything positive to work with.

Remember the good old days when your high school class president promised longer lunches, a soda machine the cafeteria, and an extra day off a year?

Neither of those candidates has promised me anything, they spend too much time telling me what the other is going to do.

I’ve come up with a solution.

I would like to announce my candidacy for Senate.

How does the senate work again? Is that the one that is based on the population of the state or is the one where each state gets someone, or am I completely off my rocker and it doesn’t have anything to do with either? I can totally hear my more polically inclined friends groaning right now.

It doesn’t matter though.

I’d like to run for Senate.

This is my promise.

If you elect me, I will make sure that fountain Diet Coke machines are installed in every gas station and restaurant.

I will give everyone paid Fridays off.

I will make healthcare free for everyone.

I will eliminate all State taxes. (If I were ever elected President I’d work on the federal stuff)
Houses will no longer foreclose as everyone will want to move here to have Fridays off our housing market will boom again.

The unemployed can work installing Diet Coke machines everywhere; therefore, I will eliminate unemployment.

Children will laugh and play again as I propose all city parks install huge fans with air conditioning for the hot summer months. (Unemployed can install those too)

I will build more schools so the student: teacher ratio is 2:1 and therefore we will have the best education in the nation. Also a reason why people will flock here and our housing market will boom.

I will build a Disney-themed park since driving 3 hours is just too far to go for Disneyland.

Do I have your vote???

I’m Sara, candidate for Senate, and I approve this message.

Date Night Guests

My honey and I picked a nice little "hole-in-the-wall" Mexican place for our date night last week.



We really had a treat because we were the ONLY ONES THERE!




Which we interpreted to mean, "Really good food even though they have no other customers!"

So we sat and ordered.

And we were joined by an annoying Mariachi Karaoke singer.

We'll call him Fernando.

Date Night Guest #1.

Fernando wanted to make sure we (his captive audience) had no opportunity to talk during our meal so he cranked up the volume on his little machine and proceeded to belt out Ranchero style music.


(See? I told you there was no one else there)
He even came to our table to make sure he was singing what we wanted to hear. I told my honey to pay him to stop singing. He wouldn't. Sooooo Cheap!

I got used to it after a while and didn't even mind him so much as soon as our second Date night Guest showed up.



Extreme close up: Meet Glen, Date night guest #2.

He was staring at me the entire time.



On a side note, check out that plate. Whole fish, french fries, rice, beans, limes, and a salad with orange slice garnish. Brilliant! I would've never thought to combine all the above. I'm surprised we don't see more of these types of dishes on Iron Chef.

Poor Glen at the end of the meal. I don't know if it's worse to be half eaten or all eaten.


I wonder if Fernando or Glen are maybe the reason there were no other diners...

Nah, I can't see that bothering anyone.

4 MONTHS

I realized that I haven't been doing my proper motherly bragging updating on all of Sophia's accomplishments in these past 4 months.

I didn't really do a good job of documenting the pregnancy either so I'm not sure why I would assume I would be so much better at recording her life outside the womb.

On that note however, I would like to say that 4 months on the outside is WAY BETTER than 4 months on the inside. Not only does she not make me throw up anymore (turns out I make her throw up now, just goes to show, what goes around comes around...), but I much prefer holding a baby in my arms to holding a baby in my uterus. I think I'll skip that step next time.

So here you have it. Sophia can now:

Smile! Although she's been smiling on demand since 4 weeks so this is nothing new. She's just cuter now since she has more hair.

(Sophia at 4 weeks)

Tell Jokes! She told a zinger once about a cow and an airplane and all the chickens that wanted their oxygen masks... ahhhh, I guess you had to be there.



Dress Herself. Heaven knows I would never put her in a silly flower costume. I even told her that this was too small for her, but she insisted. She'd said the petals bring out the color of her skin and she prefers a pastel pallet since she's a Spring and all.



Solve Long Mathematical Problems. She even figured out that E=MC2 all by herself. I didn't have the heart to tell her that Einstein already mastered that one.

This is her "I'm figuring it out" face. It always helps to have a pencil between your toes while thinking. Try it sometime.



Say "Please", "Thank You", and "Excuse Me". Although she gets a kick out of every time she burps and she'll say "excuse me" while laughing hysterically. Probably has nothing to do with the fact that we laugh hysterically every time she throws out a ginormous burp. Seriously, this girl could hold her own in a belching contest (although she would probably lose because she would roll on the floor laughing after every one).



Practice proper hygiene. She had a spell when she insisted on taking a bath twice daily, but I nixed that fast since she was using up all the hot water. Now she makes do with a nice long bubble bath and insists on reading the latest copy of OK Weekly or People. I let her take as long as she wants but she has to get herself completely clean. She's at the point now where she doesn't even need my help. She's even learned to wash that under- the-chin-sweat-wrinkle that never sees the light of day and starts to smell after about a week.

Sniff Sniff. So Proud!



Command Attention. She's gotten so good at giving people a look. The most common responses are to just stare, cry, laugh or instantly bow down to her.

This is her "you had me at hello" look. The bottom lip even quivers ever so slightly.

There you have it. Cant wait for her to start potty training and driving. I expect that to happen in the next 4 months or so.