Did you hear about the Chihuahua that got swept away in the wind?
When I was a senior in high school my parents gave me a lot of freedom. I think they knew that I was their angel child and I would never get into trouble. If I ever went out on the weekends they gave me a curfew and the only requirement was that I wake them up when I arrived to let them know I arrived safely.
Most of the time they would forget I even woke them up which worked pretty well in my favor.
If I was ever late, I could just slip to my room and in the morning, when my mom was lecturing me because I hadn't woken her up the night before, I would simply say, "Oh, but I did Mom. Remember? You asked me how it went and I told you that it was fun, but I was really tired? and then you said you were glad and you loved me..."
She bought it every time.
(She's totally going to call me yell at me when she reads this! - just so you know Mom; Eliza and Cathy did it too!)
Anyway, it was pretty easy to get away with breaking curfew.
Except one time.
This one time I was getting home pretty late and it was in the winter so the roads were covered with snow. (Even more cause for worry about your teenage driver)
I didn't think anything of it, but when I walked in the door, my dad was sitting right there on the couch.
"I was just about to go looking for you."
Ouch. The worst words a teenager could hear. I wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.
I never thought I would ever feel that bad again.
I was wrong.
Yesterday, I think was worse.
My phone died. Have you ever tried living without your cell phone for a whole day? Seriously, I'm way dependent.
I forgot to tell my honey about a meeting I had at church, and I actually ended up staying a little later to chat.
Remember how my phone is dead?
(this shouldn't be that hard of a story to follow)
That would explain why I didn't answer when he called.
Ack! I don't even recogonize myself.
Seriously! I went to open up my blog this morning and I thought I had typed in the wrong address.
Whatdayathink?
So forever ago I won a blog makeover by the wonderfully talented April and she just installed it this weekend. Isn't it great!
I feel like a new person. Like now my blog posts have to be AMAZING so they can match the background.
I feel like now I have to go shopping for an entire new wardrobe so that people won't see me in real life and think "wow, she's way cuter online"
I'm definately going to get a haircut so my hair will look just as hot as it does on my cartoon me.
Oh, and don't you love how she made my body absolutely proportionate to how I actually look?
This girl's amazing!
Thanks April!
I'm not very good at confrontation.
(unless you're keeping me from using a coupon!).
I actually get pretty uncomfortable. You know, the kind of uncomfortable like someone just gave you a big wedgie and you just want to get it out, but you can't because you're giving a talk in church and the bishopric would see you.
Yeah, now that's uncomfortable.
I'll call someone when I know they're not there and leave a message so I can avoid talking to them.
I'll send an email before I pick up the phone.
I pretty much avoid confrontation at all costs.
So yesterday, when I had to tell my boss that I'm quitting after 4 years with the company because she is pretty much a horrible boss and doesn't understand the business - I got pretty uncomfortable.
The MOTHER of all wedgies.
My favorite part of the conversation however was when she told me "I wish there had been more communication, and by that I mean, I wish you had communicated more with me."
See what she did there? Now it's my fault I'm quitting because I didn't communicate enough. Whatever helps you sleep at night lady!
Now that I got that wedgie out, I just keep singing the same thing over and over in my head.
I'M FREE!!!! FREE FALLING!
You know, like how Tom Cruise sings it in his car in Jerry McGuire? That's how I'm singing it in my head. Mostly since I still don't have much of a voice.
You know what this means don't you?
I'll mostly likely have to actually work at my new job which means less time for blogging and blog stalking.
Don't cry for me Argentina! (wouldn't that be cool if someone from Argentina actually read my blog?) I've still got two good weeks to spend wasting time and reading blogs.
So make 'em good people!
You know that the universe is playing an evil trick on you when you look forward to the weekend and not having to work FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS, and then by some evil twist of fate feel a little tickle in your throat Friday afternoon which turns into a full fledge sore throat complete with coughing, stuffed sinuses, fever, sweating, chills, achy body, and all out miserable-ness by Friday evening and causes you to be bed ridden all day Saturday and generally have a terrible weekend only to wake up Monday morning feeling well enough to go to work again.
(I think that's the longest sentence I've ever written)
Why didn't Alanis Morisette sing about that?
PS. I've turned the comments off mostly because I don't think the post merits any - but also because I don't want you to feel obligated to wish me well. I'd prefer to remain sick enough so I could at least call in sick one day! There's no use getting horribly sick if you can't get out of work for it.
Over the past 2 years I've had several friends send me a friend invite for facebook.
No really, my first invite was 2 years ago.
So a couple of weeks ago I finally joined facebook. (That poor girl who waited 2 years for me to add her!)
I joined it because someone said that I could see their pictures.
Then it wouldn't let me see the pictures unless I had an account. GHETTO!
I created an account. And promptly forgot the password. I wanted to make my password "facebook" (easy to remember) and it wouldn't let me because it said I had to have something less obvious. How do they know what I put? I thought it was a secret! Psha!
After I made my account, I instantly had like 5 different people "invite me to be their friend". (How did they find me!!!!)
I thought we already were friends. I guess it's always been one of those fake friendships. You know, like when they're kind to your face and then behind your back all they talk about is how you still aren't their friend on facebook and that means they don't truly care about you. Then they have a change of heart and "invite you" to a long lasting virtual friendship.
Then I had an idea. If all it takes is me to invite someone to be my friend and we instantly become friends, I could really take advantage of this.
Except I don't really know the best way to "find" people.
If anyone knows how I can find the real
Barak Obama
Carrie Underwood
Nicole Kidman
Thomas Monson
Donald Trump
PLEASE let me know!!!
I'm planning on inviting them to be my friends. I'm sure all this time, they've only been waiting for my invitation.
PS. I did not write this post to subconsciously ask you to send me a facebook invite. I really don't know how it works and if you send me an invite, I'll accept and then most likely never look at your page, or wall, or profile, or whatever so don't count on me to be one of those kinds of friends. (I say that with all the love and respect you deserve and a great big virtual hug)
PPS. I don't Twit either. Or tweet, or twilt, or tweeter, or twitter, or whatever. Trust me, my life isn't that exciting.
After a wonderfully uplifting weekend and feeling incredibly inspired and refreshed, I got nothin' for you.
I'm going to get over my desire to entertain and let you entertain yourselves.
In the spirit of Church Lady.
Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic...
People who have 6 kids already and decide to have another litter of children and add 8 at one time all the while saying they're not completely psycho and accepting money from the government while firing the charity nannies and using student loans to pay for their expenses.
Go.
So I was watching the news last night,
(doesn't that make me sound mature and involved? I actually never watch the news, but occasionally stumble on it while looking for the next reality program or any entertaining show - no I didn't watch ER last night, but my sister cried while watching - kind of like how I cried when Sanjaya got booted from American Idol)
Anyway, back to the news.
Well technically it was the weather portion. Not really news.
If you have to turn on your TV to find out it's windy, sunny, raining, hot, cold, etc - you probably need to get out more, or at least invest in some windows.
Well the weather guy told me it's windy in Las Vegas.
You don't say? I was wondering why the palm trees are all leaning at a 45 degree angle.
Then he told me that Las Vegas would be under an air quality advisory tomorrow (so like, today if you can't do math in your head).
Ahhhhh! What's that supposed to mean? An air quality advisory?
My first thought was, oh no! I need to remember not to breathe tomorrow.
And then I remembered that I had this.
Whew! Saved by my spare oxygen tank! Good luck to the rest of you trying not to breathe today!
I hope you all have a high air quality weekend!
