Since I publicly announced that I lied to my honey, and consequently got my name put on the temple prayer roll (I will probably never truly achieve forgiveness), I came to the conclusion that I need to redeem myself.
But speaking for just one second of my addiction I admitted to in the previous post and the subsequent lie it forced me to tell, I probably got what I deserved.
My honey decided that he is some sort of witch doctor and rather than prescribing me tummy-ache pink minty medicine; he was going to cure me (of my fake illness) by giving me a homemade cure his mom used to feed him when he was sick.
Ahem, do NOT try this at home.
A tablespoon of olive oil, with garlic.
Have you ever digested straight oil?
Me neither, cuz I just couldn't get that down.
Like I said, punishment deserved and accepted.
Moving on to my redemption. I actually am a really good person for those that don't know me. Those that do know me already know this of course and, although my angel wings got slightly damaged during Tuesday's little stint, I would like to assure everyone that they are indeed still intact.
My good qualities.
(not a conclusive list)
1. I always come to a complete stop at stop signs when there are other cars or a police cruiser anywhere in the vacinity.
2. I have never had a parking ticket.
3. I babysit my sister's kids whenever they ask.
4. I worry about the future of America, I don't do anything about it, but I still worry.
5. I only drive faster toward a j-walker if they are young and cocky, I definately yield and honk at older j-walkers.
6. I was a vegitarian for several years. Thinking of all the animal's lives I spared makes me puff up in pride.
7. I love my grandma.
8. I go to the temple, as long as it doesn't interfere with my TV show.
9. I've ironed my honey's shirts at least twice since I've known him. (I'm waiting for my wife of the year award any day now)
10. I find blogging more important than the conference call I'm currently sitting in. (I have no clue what they're talking about, but I find the occasional "hmmm", and "I think that could work" very effective)
I could go on, but I think I've proved my point that I'm really not as horrible as it may seem sometimes.
Feel free to applaud.
8 comments:
Nice. I think that's more than I've ironed my husband's shirts.
Clearly, you are a much better person that I. I just try to destroy the earth.
I already know you're the best, I'm glad that other people are getting the chance to find out.
I think you are a super upstanding citizen, if it makes you feel any better,
and I think getting the straight oil and garlic was almost great pay back, sorry I think it is super funny,
I ironed my husband's shirt once and he decided I did such a bad job he never let me do it again.... my evil plan worked. hahahaha!!!
Olive oil? Yuck. I think you're better off walking for lunch instead. Which, is fully impressive by the way. I go home and watch Gilmore Girls.
Hope your conference call went well.
Hee hee Love the redemption. Lemme know how that works out for ya!
It feels good knowing I am a better person than you! J/K. I watch rated R movies and drink Diet Coke.
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