I may stalk you too someday

I've been so desperate this week to find an appropriate "blog-worthy" event to brighten my life since, let's face it, I judge myself by the coolness of my blog entries. I always carry a camera with me in an attempt to capture something brilliant to post and I'll see little things that might capture my interest and then mentally take a picture (always completely in focus with the exact amount of editing to make it spectacular). After the picture in my head is clear, I form my clever entry which is always filled with appropriate jokes and sarcasm that I just know everyone will understand and laugh at and think I'm the coolest person ever and deserve a gold medal and then some unsuspecting publisher will stumble upon my blog and beg me to write a book which will of course be on the NYT best seller list for 13 weeks in a row and I would become a millionaire and never have to work again. None of this actually ends up happening because of course, I never take my camera out of my purse, that would require more than just mental power which is all I've been using these days. OK, maybe I'm not even using my brain lately since I drove home yesterday and realized I didn't remember ever leaving my office. To my defense I was probably daydreaming about some really clever blog that I was going to post after seeing a really creative picture in my head and it was going to make me rich... vicious cycle!


So today I was once again struggling to come up with something to post. Something that would make my life meaningful and would cause a chain reaction. Then maybe, someone would do something nice for someone else, and that person would do something for someone else, and someone else, who would eventually do something good for me. Like make me a millionaire.


Anyway, I left for lunch today, not expecting to find anything noteworthy and I discovered something quite amazing. I don't have to seek these special happenings. I can create them! (Even unintentionally) This is what happened. I pulled up in the left hand turn lane behind a small car. This wasn't at a stop light or anything, we just had to wait for the oncoming traffic to clear out and we could cross. By we, I mean me and the spunky blog writer who lives in my head - and you thought you hear voices... The car I sat behind had a really clever license plate frame and I thought, this is it! This is what I'm going to blog about! I can think of something cute to say about a quirky little saying on the back of this car. This means my life has meaning! I immediately started to mentally write my cute blog that everyone was going to love and then I stopped myself and realized that I was going to make it real. I quickly searched for my camera in my purse to capture the license plate so everyone would know what I'm talking about and think me unimaginably creative and then I could be rich! I found my camera and pressed the power button. I had to be fast here if I was going to capture this Kodak moment before the traffic cleared up. I held my camera in position as I waited for it to start up. This was taking an unusually long time and I was getting all flustered. Meanwhile, as I'm holding my camera up, facing the car in front of me, I had a major realization. I'm NOT invisible, as sometimes I tend to think. The person in the car in front of me had noticed that I'm very obviously holding up a camera and aiming it at her car. Crap! So then I pretend to be looking through my pictures on the camera because doesn't everyone just take a gander through your digital pics while waiting to turn? I know it's a common pastime for my family, uh, yeah, um, so anyway.... OK, I'm ready, I've got power and my ancient camera has finally turned on. I unsuspectingly zoom in on her license plate (she has no idea that's what I'm doing because she thinks I'm looking through old pictures remember?) and I think to myself, Ah ha! I got it! I hit the shutter button and viola, FLASH! Well double crap, I guess I wasn't as incognito as I had thought. Now I've really freaked this woman out. She's decided that I must be a serial murderer by way of digital camera and she's not waiting anymore for traffic to clear. She guns it through the opposite lanes and barely misses being hit by a not so happy Ford truck. Wow, I must be wearing my stalker shirt today so I completely understand why she would risk her life to get away from me and my trusty camera.
So here are the fruits of my labor. It's an out of focus picture of a cute license plate frame. The debris you see in the picture is obviously particles floating in the air, there's no way my windshield is that dirty! If you can't read the frame it says "2 Blessed 2 B Stressed" I was going to write this nice little blog about how inspiring this message is and how it made me realize that I truly am blessed.... Instead, I turned into a creepy stalker and almost got this woman killed. All in a short lunch hour. At least I blurred out her license plate right? You know, like how they do it on "Cops" and "Keeping up with the Kardashians". Not that I ever watch those shows or anything, but you know, I've heard that's what they do. I'm not sure why, but I would hate to get sued or anything. Sure am glad this blog is going to make me rich someday, otherwise it just wouldn't be worth it!