Well I didn't have a baby on Wednesday. For the past 9 months or so the doctors said that Wednesday was my day and they got it wrong.
Gosh, I hope it really is a girl - what if they got that wrong too?
What if I'm not really pregnant and it's just a giant tumor that has taken over my abdomen?
A very active tumor that moves around, has a heartbeat, and squishes my bladder, but a tumor nonetheless.
Would I have to give all the gifts back?
So they're going to induce on Tuesday.
I'm not really sure what that means (Is it too late to sign up for a birthing class or read that one book about expecting?)
In fact, there are a lot of terms and questions people ask me that I'm not really sure what it means.
Like my most common question, "Are you having any contractions?"
I don't know. What does that feel like?
"Has the baby dropped yet?"
DUH! She's still in my uterus, of course I haven't dropped her yet, plus I'm planning on being extra careful so I don't drop her - gosh just because it's my first doesn't mean I don't know how to hold a baby.
"How's the baby?"
Ok, I know we're technically connected and all, but I'm not exactly in her psyche yet. I'll ask her when I see her, but I imagine she's somewhat crowded, naked, and lives upside down - how would you be?.
I think inducing is something like giving me a jump start.
I just hope those jumper cables come with lots of epidural stuff.
And I'm Back!
15 years ago
6 comments:
The image of a pregnant woman being jump started...thank you.
Hope she comes June. No girl should be born in May.
Mom asked me this morning if the baby was here yet. And yes, I love the epidural.
you are too funny.
I'm sort of hoping it's a baby unicorn.
Baby unicorn-- hahaha! Also, I hope you have witty, sarcastic commentary about this motherhood experience after your baby (unicorn?) is born. Don't get all mushy and sentimental on me then.
is she here yet? is she here yet? is she here yet?!?!
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